The four groups of people
| Riptornikans
Lastly, we present the Riptornikans. They are shorter and stouter than the other species, but are simply brimming with nervous energy. Their ruddy faces are round and large with stupendous noses and astounding ears that can only be described as outrageous. Their ears grow straight out from the head and are wide and "floppy-flattish." Many Riptornikans seem to have special muscles, which allow them to wave their ears rather like an elephant, especially under the influence of alcohol, and this seems to amuse them immensely. Complimenting their reddish complexion is bred-colored hair, which grows every which way and can't really be combed at all. This bothers them not in the least. Riptornikan men usually wear large, bushy moustaches and both men and women seem to have quite a bit of hair growing out of their ears and nose. They are very active, excitable people of untidy, rumpled appearance who usually have a look on their face like a person who is late for an appointment and still has five things to do. When they relax, they tend to be rowdy, caring not the least for the stares of the more "proper" Garbonians or "horrified" Bloogans.
Female Riptornikans wear low-cut, off the shoulder, short-sleeved peasant blouses, trimmed bottom and top with lace fringe. Either the blouse is white with bright pink trim or the other way around, which nicely compliments their rosy cheeks. They wear very full, floor-length skirts in matching pink and white stripes. Red, open-toed sandals are always worn. For formal situations, women always think it is quite "smart" to wear hugh hats and elbow-length, red velvet glooves.
Riptornikans are not very interested in the opinions of the other three races, and occasionally, when they are irritated by disapproving stares from brown, blue, or green-skinned people, they flap their ears and spit beer through the gap in their front teeth.
Unlike the health-conscious Garbonians and Bloogans, busy Riptornikans believe that people who engage in physical fitness exercises are people with too much spare time on their hands. They are noisy, messy eaters, and unlike their brown- and blue-skinned neighbors, who worry about proper diet, it seems their main worry about food is keeping as much of it off their clothes as possible.
When Riptornikans go out for an evening, they prefer loud bars or restaurants that serve pasta, which they sometimes throw at each other, when too much beer has been drunk.
Their favorite dance is the "Rip and Tear" Two-Step, where women wear boots with big, floppy hats and everyone tries to stomp the floor louder than the next, all the while enthusiastically whooping at the top of their lungs. A roomfull of braying, Riptornikan "two-steppers" is a terrifing sight for most other Chaladonians, especially Bloogans and Garbonians.
Dignified restuarants certainly do not welcome groups of Riptornikans who are "celebrating something," because Riptornikans, even women sometimes, can not resist the impulse to spit prune pits at the waiter or even other patrons of the restaurant. Beaganians find this very entertaining, but everyone does not share the humor.
Since they sunburn so easily, they rarely go to a beach, but Riptornikan men sometimes do make exceptions if there are lots of young Garbonian girls to stare at. Riptornikan women take a dim view at such nonsense and are not bashful about expressing thier displeasure.
Riptornikans are people of just average intelligence, but they are extremely hard working and persistent, like “bulldozers” as other Chaladonians would put it, and their success is the result of hard work rather than education or intelligence. When they decide to do something, nothing stands in their way, certainly not a “fussy” Garbonian, a nervous Bloogan, or a Celadonian who might advise a little more planning or caution. Their motto might be “forward march and take no prisoners,” and sometimes, they can be quite ruthless and insensitive to the feelings of others. Active and decisive Riptornikans are the entrepreneurs of Chaladon, driving the economy with their hard work and willingness to risk their capitol. Most building contractors, developers, and directors of large corporations are Riptornikans. They constantly complain that Garbonians are "unrealistic" and that Bloogans are "impractical," usually hiring Celadonian lawyers to "protect them" from the demands of the others. Of course, Garbonians and Bloogans then hire their own Celadonian lawyers to "protect them" from the Riptornikans, and all of this is very profitable for Celadonian lawyers. It is interesting, however, that Riptornikans spend a good deal of money, and quite a lot of their personal time on community projects that help less fortunate people, “paying our debts to society” as they might put it. Perhaps even more strangely for such boisterous folks, they keep this very private, believing that people should do good works without any thought of reward or recognition. Such behavior creates much insecurity in Garbonians. They firmly believe people who "do good works" should be rewarded with praise, so when they see private generosity, they suspect ulterior motives. Then, when they cannot find any hidden agendas, they become even more troubled, thinking the Riptornikan has "put put one over on them." Bloogans aren't much better. They believe crude and ruthless Riptornikans are incapable of understanding proper charity, totally convinced that efforts to help people must be carefully studied and planned by those who understand the "proper needs" of people. They would much prefer that Riptornikans help Bloogans help people in a logical and correct fashion, and it bothers them greatly when Riptornikans insist on providing assistance without their advice. Riptornikans pay not the slightest attention to any of this, and many Celadonians are convinced Riptornikans perform acts of charity just to drive "blues" and "browns" nuts. At home, Riptornikans love parties in their backyards where they can burn meat on outdoor fire grills. Accompanied by loud laughter, serious amounts of beer are consumed, flowerbeds are trampled, and everyone ends up in the pool, sometimes with their clothes on. Garbonians only rarely attend such parties, because when they do, their Riptornikan hosts almost always throw them in the pool. Bloogans know better and would never be caught dead at such raucous affairs. Boys are usually given "no-nonsense" names such as Frickom, Bargen, Colon, Trot, and Lurch. Girl's names reflect the chubby, wide-eyed innocence of Riptornikan females; good, fulsome names such as Brindona, Gordella, Tortilla, and Dirndle.
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